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E.T. Beans
Story Episodes

 Copyright, 2015, Leadbelly Productions


Episode-2
 “Bean Down Time” or “I am a Rock”
Commander B. decides he deserves a vacation, and  secretly substitutes a rock in his place to run the ship. No one notices, and the mission is a resounding success with the ship actually running better than when the Commander is there.   

Episode-3
“Fortune and Flame or Da’ Ting”
The Beans return home from their grueling space adventure – 10 days in space! A world record for Beans, no one thought they would even survive the launch. Commander B wishes to write his memoirs (If he can remember them) and go on the talk circuit. However President George U.U. Bean has other plans. They have lost contact with outpost 51, a remote base on the planet Bora-Borealis, where the Potatoe creatures have been mining artificial coloring red 51 that the Beans use for cosmetic purposes. When the Beans reach the outpost it is deserted except for a preying mantis kept as a pet. After being bit by the mantis, Spotty starts changing into an evil meat by-product, which endangers the entire ship and crew. He is cured by a swift kick to the posterior. A traditional Bean cure the Doc finds in some old database. Of course this doesn’t answer the question of the missing crew, so the Commander B. closes the log by saying “They ain’t here. So they must be somewhere else.”

Episode-4
“No You Can’t Keep It” or "Got a Bad Clam”
H2O3Niner finds a stray creature (land clam) on a planet and smuggles it aboard the ship against the Commanders orders. Doc is terrified of it; He thinks it is always watching him
 With its one large eye. Attempting to dissolve the creature with a potion taken from the Professors lab it instead grows huge and terrorizes the ship. Eventually it gets bored and leaves the ship via the transporter.

Episode-5
“Neanderbean” or “Food Shocking”
Craving a mid-night snack Numb-er 2 goes to the fridge for a tasty spore. As he is opening the door a drip from a leaky pipe hits a power relay causing an electrical surge, bombarding him with the ultra-bright refrigerator light and a powerful shock. The bathroom is next door and as a toilet flushes, he is transformed into a primitive Bean state, a huge rambling plant creature that lasts a brief time. Not wanting to tell anyone he won’t use the bathroom or allow any of the others to, as each time he hears the sound of a flushing commode he transforms.




Episode-6
“Spittin’ Image” or “Yo, No Mo!”
Overwhelmed by all the broken things on the Bean ship, the Professor clones Spotty so he can get more work done. Then of course the clones make more clones, who in turn make more clones, etc., etc., who are each as inept as Spotty himself. All their futile attempts to make repairs result all manner of problems and breakdowns. Not to mention that the Spotties don’t really get along with each other. No one is sure who the real Spotty is until Mr. Greanbeans morphs into Bob Barker and yells “Will the real Spotty come on down!

Episode-7
“Glitterin’ Gold” or “You Want a Surprise With That?”
After Commander B comes into possession of an intergalactic treasure map, found while storing Josh Peterson’s backpack. The Commander and the crew search for the fabled place of the “The Big Golden M!” Ignoring Numb-er 2’s reservations they embark on a reckless journey to planet Earth. Deciphering symbols and following landmarks, all incorrectly of course, they meet a wise man and who they believe to be a great King. Though in actuality he is homeless man with a pot on his head who tells all kind of wild tales. Believing the Beans are magical fairies he helps them find their “Big Golden M.” Down the 3 blocks to the light, make a left on Main and follow the signs, can’t miss it! When they arrive it was a fast food restaurant. The map was just a restaurant guide!

Episode-8
“The Adventures of BeanMan!” or “It’s a Turd, It’s a Bean, No It’s…”
After falling into a strange puddle H2O3Niner begins to germinate. He grows arms and legs much to the awe and amazement of the other Beans. H2O3Niner believes it is his destiny to become a superhero – BeanMan! He dons a costume and cape, and performs superhero stuff. ChiChi becomes infatuated. The other beans, especially the Commander, begin to resent his newfound powers. Dejected they all lose any ambition to perform their duties. “Why don’t you get the suuuperhero to do it, he’s so great” is often heard. The tension rises until his secret weakness is accidentally discovered – soap!

Episode-9
“Curses” or “Return of the Dummy”
The Beans stumble across an ancient tomb and mistaking it for a rest room (clogged toilets resulting in an emergency landing). Doc breaks the seal releasing a mummy even dumber than them. So inept, the mummies ridiculous curse plagues the crew until they can decipher an ancient script and return him to his tomb.

Episode-10
“Terror in the Aisle”
After seeing a part of a Bush Beans commercial praising Beans, they head to Earth to introduce themselves and revel in their popularity and fame. Soon, Commander B is captured by a huge machine and taken prisoner. Actually he is ‘harvested’-he is a bean after all - and processed with thousands of other beans, and canned for sale. The crew believe he was taken prisoner and they track him to a supermarket, where they are horrified to find vegetables and fruits of all kinds being held prisoner, and being sold.

Episode-11
“Crops and Robbers” or “A Thief Among Beans”
A problem in the ship’s boiler room develops into a code 5 critical situations. The ship and its crew are in grave danger. The pressure is on Spotty the chief engineer to repair the problem. But, uh oh! He needs his favorite wrench. Someone has taken it! He suspects everyone… and suspicion is contagious! All the Beans have a reason and motive why one of the others took it. “Look how twitchy the Doc is, guilty about something?” Meanwhile time is running out! Oh! There it is! He had it all this time.

Episode-12
“Get Lost” or “The Hunted and the Other Guys”
After ‘blending’ down to the planet Phobia for a routine exploration, Pooper, the infamous 5th crewman, accidentally becomes lost. The longer he is lost and the farther away he gets from the other Beans, the safer he feels. Maybe he’s not doomed after all. Maybe, he won’t be the one killed this time. As the others begin to search for him, his paranoia grows. He begins to feel hunted, and imagines all the evil things the other Beans would do him if found. In his thoughts the other Beans seem to be larger and more menacing than they actually are. Of course, the other Beans do not understand and think he has a case of the Space Jeebies! Curable with a good Band-Aid. Once found and reunited with the crew, they try to relieve his anxiety. See you’re okay, not dead. Even Pooper starts to think maybe he’s not doomed after all as a meteor strikes him.

Episode-13
“Now Showing” or “The Feature and the Crack Legume”
The Beans land in a movie theater and after secretly witnessing corn kernels popped into popcorn, they fear for their lives. Will they try saving the corn or run for their lives? The adventure ensues as they sabotage the theater creating mayhem at first, then panic. Old horror movie clips provide the backdrop for this and reinforce the Beans fears. They see this as proof of an evil plot to destroy all vegetables.

Episode-14
“Dude, Yer’ Getting’ a Smell” or “How Revolting!”
The Beans find themselves entering a computer. They think they are entering a huge strange city. They soon learn that computers are evil entities, controlled by nasty, ruthless ‘compucutioners.’ Each has their own dastardly deed to perform. Such as locking the computer up, shutting it down, illegal functions, erasing files, fatal errors and ultimately must defeat the most powerful of all – the Evil King Crash!

Episode-15
“Bad Broth” or “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Broth”
Before leaving the Peterson’s, the Beans eat some bad broth. It affects them adversely and they become war-like and split the ship into two factions. One group who inserts the toilet paper roll so it pulls down, the other so it pulls up. Which is which? Who is who? Oh, but it gets worse. When the ship is threatened by warriors form Uranus, the Beans must get the ship into hyper drive to escape. But the broth had another side effect – constipation. Will the Beans recover in time?

Episode-16
“Midnight Sneakers” or “No Spore No More”
Everyone is sneaking to the fridge for spores. The Commander becomes concerned when food supplies become dangerously low. No one will admit to doing it, though the crew mysteriously is growing fatter by the minute. Numb-er 2 suggests setting a trap to catch the culprits. The Commander devises all types of zany traps to catch the thieves.

Episode-17
“The Good the Bad and the Smelly” or “Beans On the Range”
Midnight in the Southwest Galactic Desert. The Beans investigate a mysterious light, which turns out to be a campfire. They stumble upon a group of giantslug rustlers, working for the Emperor Mudd. Giant slugs are a delicacy to the Muddy people. To their horror one of the rustlers opens a can of pork ‘n beans. The Beans watch petrified as he empties the can into a pot over the fire. As it begins to sizzle the Beans launch an all out attack.

Episode-18
“Last in Space” or “Rediscovered”
While submitting next years budget (Lots and lots of dough), Commander B laments about the itinerary of missions. The crew becomes dejected when they realize that all the worthwhile discoveries in space have already been made, until, the Commander claims they can be the first to re-discover them all! Thus begins their faithful journeys to the moon where they ride the moon rover, Mars, where the face is actually a portrait of Nixon and to Jupiter where the giant red spot is really a pupil and the planet a giant eyeball.

Episode-19
“Key to the Future” or “No Key and Monkey”
The Bean ship crash-lands on a strange planet. The Commander goes into a tirade because the ship is damaged. As the Commander is outside blowing a gasket, each of the Beans goes out to see what all the fuss is. Spotty is the last one out and accidentally locks everyone out of the running ship. Soon they realize they are being watched by a group of Saber Tooth Orangutans. They all run for cover as the Orangutans take the ship and start to play catch with it. Much to his embarrassment, Spotty soon discovers that he really did have the keys all along. Now they have to wait till the can is abandoned to board.

Episode-20
“Frank ‘n Beans” or “Beans ‘n Frank”
The Professor in an effort to make a smarter, more efficient Bean, snatches a crewmember as he passes by his lab. He secures him to the experimental chair thing-a ma-jig. Using discarded animal pieces, car parts and robotic technology he creates a Franken Bean- like monster. The monster, feeling lonely and outcast, captures ChiChi, the security officer, as his bride. After several failed attempts to save her by the crew ChiChi saves herself by disconnecting his power source.




Episode-21
“Broke Down Hovel” or “Billy Bub’s Service Station”
Becoming partially disabled in space, the Bean ship makes an emergency landing on the nearest planet for repairs. After a tow to ‘Billy Bub’s they realize they’ve found a mechanic so stupid, he thinks the berries, oh, the Beans, are geniuses.
Episode-22
“Big Bean Bug Hunt” or “Insector Inspector”
On a planet filled with insects the crew gathers specimens for the Professor’s collection. But, one by one, the crew begins to disappear. They soon discover they themselves are being collected by the biggest bugs they have ever seen.

Episode-23
“The Frog” or “Amphibious Merger”
While snooping around the Professors Matter Transmitter, the Commander accidentally gets locked in one of the teleportation chambers. Unaware, the Professor tries to transport a rare flying frog – when materialized the Commander begins to slowly transform into the creature. Not thrilled with new-found urge to eat bugs, He is excited by the ability to jump really high.

Episode-24
“The Clog” or “Beans: Unplugged on ETB Records”
A mysterious phenomenon occurs in deep, deep space. One by one the Bean’s toilets on the ship, are becoming clogged, until… the ship is left helpless in space. Spotty invents a mechanical multi-plungered unclogging device, but will it work in time?

Episode-25
“Smores, Spores, and More” or Mellow Love”
The commander, while on routine planetary patrol falls in love with a beautiful marshmallow princess, and rebuffs all attempts by the crew to talk him to his senses.

Episode-26
“Bionic Beans” or “ Lend Me a Hand”
Spotty soups up the mechanical arms of the Beans with disastrous results.

Episode-27
“No Bean is an Island” or “Space Madness”
 The Beans crash land on a strange and barren world. Bored with nothing to do their behavior turns odd, and they become somehow, smart. It’s frightening.

 Episode-28
“The Bean Clink” or “30 Days in the Hole”
 The Beans are locked up on their planet for not returning the ship at the end of its 90-day lease, and being over the mileage, can’t pay. Once sprung from jail they all take on odd jobs to earn cash.

Episode-29
“Bean Club” or “Pay Your Dues”
Spotty starts a club and won’t let anyone join. So they all start their own clubs and the rivalry begins.

Episode-30
“Blended” or “Just like me”
While being blended down to the planet’s surface, the Commander and Pooper’s personality become switched.

Episode-31
“Doc’s Dream” or “Follow your Dreams”
Doc dreams that Band-Aids are indeed the cure for ALL ills, not just sickness, but also meanness, ugliness, laziness, paranoia, and  egotism, etc..  He then discreetly attempts to  ‘cure’ the crew.

Episode-32
“Black Hole Beans” or “Black Holes Suck!”
Messing with a Black Hole because the Commander thinks it’s cool the way the ship stretches, the Beans are sucked into an alter-verse, where Beans are kept as pets.

Episode-33
“Beans with Teeth” or “Bite me”
The Commander develops a toothache and after failing to get the Band-Aid from Doc Bean to stay in place, takes matters in his own hands. Doc fixes the problem in the end… accidentally knocks it out, and then writes his first medical paper or log.

Episode-34
“The End of Beans as We Know Them” or “Number’s up”
‘Death’ comes for the Beans– and they run scared poop-less, thus having no power to run the ship.

Episode-35
“Dr. Gloom and Doom” or “That Really Burns Me Up”
An angry old scientist in armor seeks revenge on the Beans because chili gives him heartburn.

Episode-36
“Satan on Holiday” or “Running With the Devil”
The Beans pick up an interstellar hitchhiker who turns out to be the devil himself,  slacking off from work. He is nice and in a good mood until the Beans drive him crazy and he becomes evil again.

Episode-37
“Mutant Beans” or “Mental midgets”
Sheesh, another evil Bean genius creates lazy mutants to give Beans a bad name. Of course the Beans try to stop him, for what? They already have the worse reputation!

Episode-38
“H is for Hero Bean”
Mr.Greenbeans tries to emulate his hero “Intergalactic Warrior” on the 3dTV and does really well until the other Beans try to help.

Episode-39
 “Cold Trash and Blazing Foes” or “Waste Mismanagement”
The Beans antagonize a ‘Sun’ by shooting their trash at it, and have hot time hiding all over the universe.

Episode-40
“Rock this Can” or “School of Hard Knocks”
Beans antagonize the ‘Meteoroids,’ space rock beings, by bumping into one and not apologizing, and are again, bombarded and chased across the Galaxy.

Episode-41
“Not So Common Cold” or “Aachoo Hullabaloo”
All the Beans catch colds, and having no noses, they explode left and right… Aah, aaah…Bam!

Episode-42
“Timeless Beans” (Based on ‘Amok in Time’ from the original Star Trek series) or “Go Back Jack”
The Beans find a ancient “Time Portal’ and think it is interactive television, causing havoc and mayhem through space and time until future ‘smart Beans’ though still dumb travel back to fix the mess.

Episode-43
“Keep of the Grass… Citizens” or “Gonna Walk All Over You”
On an expedition with the Beans, Josh insults the ‘Lawnoliums’ by; you guessed it, walking all over them.  Horrified, the grass blade citizens of ‘Lawnolium’ burn up with rage, and take Josh captive. His only hope for freedom lies with the Beans. Scary, huh?

Episode-44
“Beans meet Courage” or “Shameless Plug”
The ‘Beans’ crash, not for the first time, on a little blue world called ‘Earth’ where they scare the beegebers out of one “Courage the Cowardly Dog.”

Episode-45
“The Great Space Race” or “Mad Max Attacks”
The ‘Beans’ arrive at the starting line of the ‘Great Space Race”, thinking it is a parking lot for Drive-in Diner Planet. As the race begins the contestants are chased by ‘Crushers” who devour the slowest ships. After a while the Beans are to Pooped, to poop…

Episode-46
“Laundry Revolt” or “Underwear With Attitude”
Unwashed laundry takes on a life of it’s own, and rampages through the ship. Their only weakness is soap.    



Episode-47
“Bean-nanigins” or “Tactical Jokes”
One practical joke leads to another… and another... until…

Episode-48
“Doc-a-zillionaire” or “Show Me The Money”
 Doc has to return to Home world to claim his inheritance. His old plant-aunt has passed on and been uprooted to the big compost heap in the sky… out back behind the shed.

Episode-49
“The Wrong Hole” or  “Lost in Paradise”
Following the directions of a passing freighter, the Beans take the wrong wormhole to a geometric parallel-dimensional world, and become lost. The Commander refuses to use the on-board navigational system, or to stop and ask for directions.

Episode-50
“Lost -Untamed Misplaced-World” or “50,000 Years Before Beans”
Beans find a planet like theirs, only in the pre-historic past. Cave Beans man!

Episode-51
“Sirens on the Lake” or “A Day at the Beach”
Giant lakes in space lure the Beans in to their doom! Only they think they’ve found an intergalactic resort. They prepare for fun in the sun with suntan lotion and sunglasses. Landing at dawn, the sun rises and lakes begin to boil and cook the Beans.

Episode-52
“Camping Out” or “The Not So Great Outdoors”
The Commander takes the crew camping because he’s heard it builds teamwork, or some such nonsense. Bugs, fires, and Bean Bears all play havoc with his plans.

Episode-53
“Day at the Zoo” or “Collection Disconnection”
The Beans are captured and put on display at a Galactic Zoo. They’re soon thrown out as boring, and the Beans vow to be let back in.

Episode-54
“Bean Dippy” or “The Gas Man”
A mysterious gas makes the Beans silly beyond all belief.

Episode-55
“The Phantom Haunted Infested Ghost Ship” or “Terror in Space”
The Beans come across the legendary PhiGS– a spooky one.

Episode-56
“Blow Out” or “Breakdown in Town”
Some mysterious substance is disintegrating the ship. Do you think it is Bean-gas?

Episode-57
“Ants Away” or “Captain Bigbeard”
Giant pirate ants attack the ship, looking for treasure.

Episode-58
“RoboBean” or “Mechanical Mayhem”
Spotty builds a mechanical suit to make his work easier.

Episode-59
“ Silent Night”” or “Talk is cheap”
The Commander loses his voice and has to communicate his wishes though gestures and sounds only. No one can understand him, and they do all the wrong things, putting the ship in peril.  

Episode-60
“Machine Mania” or “Vend-a-matic”
Beans stumble across a mechanical world with intelligent machines, where EVERYTHING has intelligence, except for the Beans.

 End


 

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